5.11.26
Friendship, true friendship, is a coveted thing in this world. Acquaintanceship, situational plutonic relationships are the bulk of our human interface. Surface level smiles that radiate with the placid intensity of a catatonic.
Loathing is a thing I try to avoid. Truly. The one thing I can't help but loathe though, is artificiality. Actually, not even. Artificiality isn't even that bad. Fake-autenticity is truly the object of my distaste. Artificiality are these passing glances. Like a fugazzi designer bag, or a cheap gold bracelet. It does the job. They are never the object of scrutiny. These are for the passing. For the building of balsawood relationships. You know your boss's name and ask about their day. You may ask about their kids, and may even care. These relationships serve a very important role. The maintenance of soft power.
The frayed shoe string that binds this book.
People can't help it, and chances are, it never even crosses their mind. You can forgive them. They don't mean it. They are just like you, People. What else are we supposed to do anyway? Another day in wasteland paradise, raise a glass!
Deep down, I want the real thing. People want the real thing. By and large this is true. All day they look at pictures of the real thing, wishing they were there. There in real life. There with the real people. The pictures of the real people make them feel more real. Maybe one day, somehow, they will become real if they do exactly as the real people do. Maybe the real people, seeing how real they really are now, will reach out a hand and invite them to their world. Into real life.
"You are one of use now"
The real people will say. "You are real, its okay, its okay.."
People are anxious. Not quite bored, but not happy by any means. Their life is just monotonous enough to know about what to expect tomorrow, but littered with enough nuance to be in a latent state of worry, at all times.
They are starting to see thru the sham, though. I see it in the faces of people. Hear it in their voice. One. By. One. Disillusioned. Fake authenticity is the name and game of the state. The U.S. Israel. Russia. Iran. Iraq. The Man. Big Brother. The establishment!! Whatever. Its the same thing. Its always the same thing. Power. Measured by how much of it you can hold over another. My stick is bigger than yours!! Then, humans discovered fire. With that, they learned to project larger than life portraits of themselves against the cave wall. Lolllll.
One day legends started about shadowy figures larger than the mighty pines, inhabiting the village over. They either cower with fear and flee, or submit to these shadowy forces without a second thought.
The thing about artificiality is that its the substitute for the real thing. Its only necessary because for some reason you can't get the real thing. Fake-authenticity is coupled with deception. The implicit or explicit message that you are one way, when in fact, you are another way. One is created out of necessity, the other is to enforce this necessity. Can you bite the hand that feeds you, if it also choaks you? I don't know, yeah? At some point we'll figure it out. We're clever. What's possible is only possible if you think it can be.
Collectively, I think, we are growing. The powers that be, are a balloon and we hold the string. At some point we will outgrow this nonsense and let go, or get bored and pop it. I think we will grow up. It may take a catastrophe, but I hope not. Id really like to think that, facing the extinction of our species, we can talk freely with one another without fear, and collaborate. That's what we are really good at. That and not collaborating. lol. Some day we will realize that we are more powerful together than we are apart. Its not that complicated. We all share similar values. We are human. We know good and bad and tend toward good if we aren't at risk ourselves.
The Capitalist ideal implies a just world. A level playing field. The Capitalist reality takes a system set up hundreds of years ago, continually modified to promote psychopathic tendency, and sells it as the only option in a free world.
A select few, none of who we know their names, hoard wealth larger than comprehension. Enough to iradicate any material suffering. Instead it sits in the form of power. Pure power. Political power. The power to participate and orchestrate atrocities big and small, for fun and for profit. Its always been the same power, for the same reason. Even before money. Its not about money. It never has been. Maybe under different names, in different times, but its the same.
Apparently they didn't get the message, Greed is obsolete y'all. So yesterday.. Nasty gross stuff that'll eat you like a cavity eats a tooth. It'll take a while, and then you get an ache. Eventually the root will die, and the tooth will turn gray and die with it.
Make sure you have yours and pass it on
Don't really know where I'm goin with this, so thats it.
-trinket <333
4.28.26
Hey everyone! Been scheming, thinkin n thinking, pondering and postulating, staring wistfully into the horizon, trying to come up with a topic to talk about in my first REAL blog post that’s not just my intro. As you know (maybe) my name is Trinket! I am in my mid 20’s and have been working in a kitchen since I was able to work. It’s okay for the most part, decent enough money considering. It definitely has its (many many many many) moments.
Most days I can maintain a relatively positive attitude. I know for a fact that I won’t be doing this forever, I'll get to go home tonight, maybe, Ill have to get up in 8 hours just to do it again, but, eventually it will be over. I used to make this like an endurance game, convincing myself I was building grit or discipline or something. Only recently have I really internalized the fact that I am not getting any good out of this. I am actively wearing my body down in a way not necessary, and even worse wasting my time. Every moment I spend in this place is time taking away from the total amount of time I possess. This is all I really have, my time is my life.
Largely, this is a necessary evil. Money gets me almost everything I consider necessary for my wellbeing in the city. I came to terms with the fact that I will probably be working as long as I need to live in this world. That’s okay. I just need to be creative. I need to believe I can, and I can.
Anyway.
I guess what I’m getting at is you either gotta go in, like, all in, or compromise. Which is also okay (and probably the move.) But you have to decide. You can change your mind, but you have to chose a road to walk, and walk it. I feel like I lose sight of this for most of my waking life, but I know it. There’s a lot that I think I know that I don’t actively practice. But that’s okay. I feel like as I age, more of what I "know" slips into my way of being. Sneaky... The oposite also happens. I might start doing something, and within like a week, its a hard set habit. I'll do it every day until a noticeable change happens. Good or bad.
This happens with mentality too. A thought can become a mood, and a mood becomes an attitude. Your atitude is the glass that colors your world. Your attitude lays beneath the surface, kind of like a kernel to an os. You go thru moods, things happen, you feel things and then on to other things. This happens all day every day.
In the not so distant past (I can only guess, I wasn't there cx) peoples lives were somewhat varied. Days were different depending on your circumstances. Weather, food, tine of year, whatever. You are perpetually introduced to novel stimulation, you have a purpose that actually matters. You are one step removed from the end of your own life at all times. This hasn't changed actually, but our relationship with death certainly has.
We like to think of ourselves as a kind of petty god. Almost invincible. We get sick, we go to the doctor. We get lonely, we go online and setup another night of empty sex. Your bored, you eat. Your hungry, you eat. You wake up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, so you can wake up at the same time the next day. The only time we are really confronted with death is the (hopefully) rare occurrence that a friend or family member dies. I feel like it wouldn't be unrealistic to say that most people aren't confronted with their own death until they are met with it, face to face.
Death isn't all spooky scary or sad. Its fundamental. Its literally the driving force of the world we know. With destruction comes creation and with creation comes destruction. The spring follows the winter and after summer, fall and winter again. It is, and its neither good nor bad. Every thing is okay, literally, epistemically. We are pretty limited in our scope. This is our achilles heel. That mixed with our seemingly innate gravitation towards self importance and self gain. Somehow we always think we're right, like we've got it all figured out, for real this time. Guys, I swear!
I don't really know where I'm goin with this so I am just gonna cut it. Thanks for reading :3
-Trinket <3
4.21.26 Hello internet!!
Hello to all the fellow critters of this big big web! A truly incedible time to be alive! Never before have we been able to comunicate instantly with almost anybody , all around the world, instantly! The possibilities are actually endless! You can play games, read the newspaper, listen to music, watch movies (among other things OWO) make friends, anything!
Kind of sad to think that (like much else, unfortunately) it has been taken from an idea, with almost endless practical application, potentially able to solve almost every single one of our worldly problems, and has been turned (almost instantly) into a platform for fracking human attention and processing it into capitol. Its really easy to get caught up in this attitude. I slip into this frame of thinking several times a day. Not just when thinking about the current state of media like the internet, but when thinking about the overall state of our world as a whole.
The good thing about the internet, is that its just a platform. You can do pretty much whatever you want with it. You can consume and create whatever you could possibly imagine. We live in a pretty crazy time.
People say that new music sucks. People say that almost everything new is bad. Its really easy to think that. How could you not? There certainly is an incredible amount of crap out there it seems. BUT because there is just more of everything, the opposite can be said about the amount of good new stuff out there.
Pretty much everything you could ever be interested in has been and is being explored by thousands of others just like you! No matter your kwirks, special interest, favorite color, gender identity, whatever! If you are looking for friends, they are out there! If you are looking for a detailed rundown of the 20 year old Powermac G4 Quicksilver 1ghz you just bought off of Facebook marketplace because you are now suddenly a retro computer enthusiast, its out there!
All I'm trying to say is, the world is what you make of it. The joy of lifes most precious moment can be found in the most dull of affairs. The connection of a life long friend can be found in the person sitting next to you on the bus you have to take because your license got suspended. The job you have to show up to even though you just tested positive for COVID can teach you the patience you need to wait for the things that are coming your way.
You have everything you need to start doing what you want to do, right now! The time is there if you take it, the money is there if you make it. Take some deep breaths. Its okay, you got this!
Anyway !
Thanks for listening to my barking fit.
-Trinket